Telugu Ammayi Defined

The Origin Story of This Substack of Random Thoughts

Calling myself a Telugu Ammayi is almost natural to me because it is what I am: a Telugu girl. But the depth of those two words holds so much more meaning to me, because it summarizes the core of my identity in two words.

I know with that beautifully vague explanation, you must probably be like what do you mean?

Telugu

Growing up in countries other than India, but having Telugu as my first language, thinking in Telugu is almost natural to me. But until RRR took the world with a storm with the Oscars, being Telugu was not something I heard people associating as an identifier with unlike other language speakers where community pride always resonated. I just felt like an individual who spoke another language in America, that’s about it.

But I wanted to share my love for Telugu movies that make me laugh when I am having a bad day, songs I turn to for the confidence that my goals are achievable, and food that reminds me of home when I am missing my family.

In the past few years, I have had deep conversations with people I have met analyzing tiny parts of these movies, incorporating phrases into my daily language, and adding my favorite dialogue stickers onto my computer that I did not even realize others cared about. Or, how much I cared about them.

Ammayi

Coming to the ammayi part, it is pretty self-explanatory, as a girl navigating the world, everyday I am faced with questions and experiences that as everyone around me has been telling me is a part of my journey to grow. And as much as I wish life could go without problems, and want to tell myself I am just a girl. I am realizing I am in the phase of my life where I am growing, learning, and changing, and what it means to be an ammayi for me is changing everyday.

So Telugu Ammayi for me is really the comfort that I have a part of my identity that will be mine despite what life throws at me and wherever in the world I am. It is the happiness when a song was finally made about a Telugu Ammayi (for those that know the context it comes up in, ignore it) that I felt seen, even if I cannot draw for the life of me.

So What Now?

Recently, I have felt life has gotten harder, I am facing challenges like never before, and I want somewhere to ignore them: that’s the origin of this substack. My journey of growth as an ammayi with my life changes, rooted in the Telugu-ness of my identity will be captured in the things I write, connected by few similarities. I’m doing this for me, to keep myself rooted, but if it resonates for anyone else, it’s for you too :)